1/27/2006
Humor with Ameritrade
So I opened a Datek account back in 1998 when I was 16. This of course meant that it had to be a custodial account which was fine at the time. When I turned 18, in 2000, I tried to convert the account to an individual account however they didn’t allow you to do that, you had to get something notarized by your custodian and open a new account and transfer the money in, which I did. However somewhere in between there was a dividend of $0.17 paid to my account so it never got closed. I had tried to call them back up to have them fix it but they again wanted a notarized form and for $0.17 it wasn’t worth the stamp, let alone the notarization. I let the account be, I then asked them 2 years later, in 2002, I again asked them to nuke the account since I had a new account and now even had a Roth IRA account with them. They wouldn’t budge without a notarized form, again not worth it. So 3 and half years later I call them up after receiving tax info on my $0.17 and a stack of offers on why to get this new account and that new service from that (this cost them $0.55 in postage to send to me), they put me on hold and got a manager. I politely explained the situation and that if they wanted me to jump through hoops it wouldn’t happen. Just write off the account and close it. I even described the package I held in my hand that cost them $0.55 to send to me. The manager agreed and did a misc charge of $0.17 and closed my account for being at $0. Finally! After 5 years of monthly statements, and 5 years of tax information and countless offers being double mailed to me (once for my regular account and one for this one). Datek, now Ameritrade realized this was stupid and closed the account.
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